Consider a mental pattern: emotional tendency, thought or story, belief, coping strategy, etc. that isn’t serving you. If you want to change it. Follow “ABE”:
- Associate: This is getting psychological leverage. You have to appreciate the impact of it - what is at stake? What is it costing you? Associate the pattern with pain in past, present, and future. Associate changing it with pleasure in the past, present, or future.
- Break the pattern: This can be done by simply labeling it as you see it come up (oh I see I’m doing xyz again) or (oh I see my old friend showing up to try and help). You can also use an intentional change in your body, attention, or thoughts / language to interrupt it. Your state (experience) is a combination of body, attention, and thoughts/language. Maybe you hear your self-talk telling you a story about how you are going to fail or that you need to do xyz to feel safe and so you point at your head and laugh. Maybe you feel worn down so you find yourself reaching for a soda and instead you do 30 jumping jacks to get your energy buzz.
- Empower with a new, helpful pattern: You can replace this old pattern with a new helpful one. Maybe an old belief was “I get nervous before presenting” and that becomes “I get alert and excited before presenting”. Maybe it is behavioral - you used to smoke when stressed, now when you’re stressed you go for a walk outside.
This protocol can be supported with a coach, therapist, or friend.
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