There is of course more nuance, but this is a solid, nearly comprehensive list of the key psychological determinants of influence as outlined by Robert Cialdini.
- Reciprocation — When you are nice you get nice back. When you are mean you get mean back. The important thing is to go first (you bring the emotional weather). It works off “tit for tat” — if you feel like you got a gift or compromise you will be inclined to reciprocate.
- Consistency — Once we have made a choice or taken a stand we feel immense pressure to behave consistently with that prior commitment. "The strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves.” This also explains why the more someone has “held the line” the more invested they become. It’s a feedback loop.
- Social Proof — We use the actions and views of others as a shortcut for our own decisions and behaviors. If there is a row of restaurants you will probably go to the most crowded one as a proxy for quality. If everyone in a crowded room stands up and runs to the door you will too. We are social herd creatures (good and bad).
- Liking — Mere positive association with a person or product will go a long, long way.
- Authority — When we perceive knowledge, confidence, and credibility we are set up to be influenced. The Stanford Prison Experiment sums this up.
- Scarcity — When we perceive there is less of something in supply or time it becomes more valuable. This is your “last chance” so you better take it.
Keywords & Nodes
The 7-38-55 Rule is for rapport and liking NOT all communication. Liking someone is 7% language, 38% voice, and 55% physical.
Swearing or adult language can be a strategic use of language.